essays
This Vision of Earth
Living with our Earth Mother is a living visionary experience. Indigenous peoples of the Earth lived a blended existence, simply one within the wholeness of primordial grace. But humans since the time we separated ourselves from nature, began to focus their perception down a narrow shiny tunnel, living within a perception that reflected back what they wanted to believe, reflecting a higher state of being and purpose; a self-awareness where we place ourselves well above all other forms of life. However, our self-awareness is based on the mirrored reflections within our tunneled in view. We see what we want to see in a hard edged, defined, and focused way. Indigenous peoples of the Earth live from their hearts, perceiving and experiencing the world in a fluid, feminine, blended call and response with no boundaries and no judgments based on some hierarchical evolution. Peoples of the Earth live in a blended acknowledgement of original heart naturally so.
Today many people learn about Ati Yoga while firmly, unknowingly, held within a tunnel vision way of perception and only create concepts that mimic the qualities of original heart rather than truly being in it. In other words, they think their meditative experience, creating the world around them with their reflective feedback loop of perception. The path of primordial grace is returning to origin, returning to a life lived within original heart. To truly be embraced by original heart one would find themselves outside of the reflecting tunnel beyond concepts, doctrines, faiths, and belief systems. You would not be held by any authority past or present, for there is no higher or lower, no hierarchy of any kind. Beyond the mirrored reflections of the tunnel you experience life as an embrace of all being, an openness beyond the concepts of openness, a wholeness with a movement and a flow of knowing from your heart with the heart of all, simple and uncontrived.
In this way, the Earth comes alive in a vibrancy of arising spiritual intent like clear water filled with sunlight. This fluid light of a knowing heart has a rhythm and a flow of intent. All that naturally comes into being lives within this rhythm of intent played out as one breath of air within all of space, with no seam, no beginning or end.
All creatures, all aspects of the Earth, the atmosphere we breathe, the rocks and soils, the plants, the animals, the reptiles, the insects and countless smaller forms of life, and the surrounding universe are all alive within this embrace of original heart. You move with them as they move within you, a knowing far different than the tunnel vision of a defined perception but one of a spontaneous fractal like knowing, alive and always fluidly expansive. People’s of the Earth who live in an embrace of original heart are players within a dance of intent where the basis of all things is a great love and joy of pure being.
When Rachel and I first got together, we asked ourselves, “What do we want to have learned by the time we die?” And what we wanted was to have an ongoing stable, blended experience with nature. Essentially a life lived within this vision of Earth. We would go to the desert and surround ourselves in the sounding quiet, the space of the desert coming alive, vibrant with a knowing that was ageless, beyond the human conceit of self-awareness. We wanted to be one with this aliveness of being, a fluid, seamless knowing where all beings move in a primordial dance, all one like a drop of water seamless within all waters, a drop of being in the radiance of all existence. This aliveness of being has a visionary quality though it is natural, simple, and unelaborate.
This is why we left the Los Angeles art world, to live on the high desert prairie of NM, to touch this living visionary way of perception and to bring it into an ongoing state of being. But we came with the baggage of our culture and our times, our concepts and our art careers, which greatly challenged our ability to blend with our new home. The birds, reptiles, insects, and mammals and the elementals and the land itself with the encompassing quiet space was an abundant field of life and beings we had never known before, bringing us into a heightened state of awareness in an ongoing teaching. We kept our eyes in wide-angle vision, looking at the sky and the Earth for the physical/spiritual signs of the movements of all the creatures who shared this land.
The prairie diamondback rattlesnake with their skin perfectly camouflaged with the reddish brown soil of New Mexico made us acutely aware of how we sensed the day or night around us. The intensity of our searching awareness reached into the landscape to the horizon or to a nebula’s glow against the deep black of the night sky. So many teachers, so many lessons like a constant flow of knowing changing us, realizing an ancient way of being; feeling our hearts beat with the hearts of all that made up the high prairie where we lived. Being immersed in an ongoing awareness under the vast dome of the sky over the years whittled away a large part of what we had brought with us and we came to know and live within the primal source.
It takes time to wash away the holding patterns of our culture and the tunneled in way of perception humans are accustomed to using. But over the years you come to naturally blend with the original heart of all being. Visiting wilderness areas around the country helped us but it was when we built and lived in an Earth berm pit dwelling during our nine-year retreat that offered us a nurturing ground to stabilize our experience of original heart. The Earth was a resonate field of teaching immersing ourselves in its primal rhythm, and having already let go of so much baggage we were open enough to blend and become stable in original heart, beyond the confusing concepts of mind; essentially returning to the natural way of being, the way of our ancestors.
A blended state of original heart is experiencing this world in a more open and allowing way, where our physical/spiritual life is not separate but a resonate aspect of the universe, a unified state of being within a primordial intent. Living within the natural world, this vision of Earth can guide you to a blended existence, a call and response within a living radiant universe that is fluid, feminine, with a primordial intent that allows the vision of our world to come into being. We too are part of that vision if we only choose to once again to move within its embrace.
Entering the Rhythm
An individual’s spiritual life naturally in union with our Earth Mother is a blended existence in original heart flowing in rhythm with the universe. In this wholeness of being, teachings arise within a personal heart to heart connection like a crisp breeze in the space of one’s heart, a movement of knowing. This is the natural flow and play of life, allowing and opening with an initiating force.
This vibrant rhythm can be witnessed and experienced most clearly in the desert wilderness, laying bare the rhythm and hum of our Mother. Similarly, the desert of one’s heart is a stark open space stripped of boundaries with a fluid knowing. In the desert wilderness and the desert of your heart, you can learn to allow an embrace, wearing away the borders of our defined culture and tunnel vision perception. Behind all the conceptual elaborations, the titles of authority, and the roles we play, lies the embrace of what naturally is, just as it is. It is a solitude of quiet, opening out like the sky after a storm, and so profound it is shocking the moment you first come to acknowledge it, leaving you open and aware, transcending your ordinary tunneled in perception. Go to the desert, go to the desert of one’s heart and return to the vibrancy and resonant force of radiance.
I found the desert of my heart in South Central Los Angeles where I lived for six years and carved my spiritually motivated installation sculptures. This was my charnel ground, isolated and dangerous, providing a freedom to allow my heart to open. And with all the streetlights shot out, I could watch the night sky well enough standing in the walled and fenced compound of my warehouse listening to the gunfire. There was one night where I was studying the stars and thinking about spiritual authority, when I began working on the installation Crux, the Southern Cross constellation, symbolizing human separation from nature, and the advancement of power and spiritual authority.
I brought the life-size wooden figures out to the Mojave Desert to reveal humanities separation from nature and the holding to belief systems against the backdrop of the universe, naturally open and allowing as the stars moved above in the night sky. I was alone presenting my open heart in the desert night, feeling the rhythm within the depth of the stark quiet as it fills space, present and waiting. My questions were laid out to witness, an intuitive understanding becoming the flame that is at the heart of all spiritual journeys returning to wholeness. As the firelight played around the sculptures, I grew aware of a resonant openness growing in my heart embraced with the openness and the heartbeat of the Earth.
A few weeks later, I sent a photograph of Crux to Rachel, taken that night and on the back I wrote, “cutting away the blind man”.
Entering the rhythm of this vision of life is where everything comes alive and sings, playing out the story of your personal journey. The whole experience of life is then charged with a living intent pulsing through the veins of your life, moving you, guiding you. All you need do is open your heart and trust the flow of nature with the patience of stone, waiting for the knowing to be revealed and acknowledged in your heart.
Intent of Essence
All of Creation is a reflection of the primordial intent of essence. This intent is literally written into every aspect of our Earth and the universe, a rhythm of space and light bringing the radiance of essence into being. The universe comes alive in the light of myriad colors, in the spheres and circles, in the openness of peace with its nurturing potential and the vibrancy of its initiating force, all blended in a sacred union. This intent is for us to witness and learn from and can be seen so clearly in the openness of the sky and the initiating thunderstorm, coming together as a union of radiant life. These qualities found in the sky and the thunderstorm, openness and initiation are what you follow in your spiritual life to fruition, where you are embraced in the feminine wisdom that is fluid and all encompassing.
I came to experience the openness of my heart as I gazed at the stars in the backyard of my warehouse studio in South Central Los Angeles. South Central was part of the city with the veneer of culture removed like a wound and yet it allowed an initiating freedom that I had never experienced before. Most of the streetlights had been shot out, which made the night sky come alive with stars and their memorable patterns. I began to study them, focusing on how indigenous peoples viewed and felt them in their lives. I too began to feel them in my heart. There was something embracing me as I reached out beyond myself, cloistered away from the ordinary willfully blind world. The stars and the land beneath my feet where the grasses once grew were opening my heart to the rhythm of our Mother. She was calling out in my heart, drawing me to the openness and rhythm of the intent of essence, returning me to original heart, the primordial breath of all space.
You touch a threshold of original heart when you keep your eyes and heart within the wider perspective of peripheral vision where your perception expands fluidly beyond the singular, the separated, and the walled in and distant prison of the mind. Opening like the sky, keeping your eyes witnessing the movement and flow of the Earth, keeps you from being blinded by the subtle conceptual webs the mind can build, and also keeps you from being caught and held by dramatic and intense experiences in your life. This expansive view helps us remain connected to the feminine dance of origin, spring, and beginning, a primordial constant of intent, a radiance arising from essence, shimmering in your heart and all of creation so that we may come to acknowledge original heart. This vibrant experience of origin in the expanse of one’s heart remains beyond the walls of self, a transcendent experience with a fluid knowing of the intent of essence. Remaining in this expansive view in rhythm with the Earth, you will come in time to experience original heart blossom. Opening your heart and perception to this great love will change you, teaching you the dance in play with the rhythm of our Mother. You become a drop of water blended into the stream, giving rise to your voice within the instrument of your life played out in the divine beatitude, the intent of essence.
God is in the Rain
It was early in January 2000 and Rachel and I had been gazing all day. At the evening break, we stepped outside and watched as the rain made concentric rings on the surface of a puddle by the reflected light of the porch. Since we were in silence, we gestured to one another excitedly at the concentric rings. We knew in our hearts that the visions of radiance were as natural as the air we breathed. The circles spreading out across the puddle were so humble in the reflected light, so allowing in their elemental purity and yet holding an essential initiating energy to respond outward, touching and affecting all other circles. What we were experiencing as we gazed and as we watched the concentric circles forming on the puddle, was an intention within origin itself, the basis of all phenomena. Both the visions of radiance and nature arise from the same primordial source, a living awareness woven into the fabric of the universe.
Our hearts were touching the same truth that night. There is a living, loving intent, a primordial grace within all that naturally arises. The very nature and impetus within our universe is the circle or sphere, the potential at the heart of all things radiating outward as creation, an integral primordial path to fruition.
This impetus within our universe, this spirit of intent, is especially witnessed in the rainbow. The concentric circles of brilliant light of luminous color are a universal message written with fluidity, radiant beauty, and purity of form revealing the primordial feminine absolute. The rainbow arises like a celestial doorway, a threshold to essence, guiding us to return to pure being if we open ourselves to its qualities.
The rainbow circles in nature and the visions of radiance are a primordial pure expression of a dynamic and absolute intent. The circle is continuous with no beginning or end, representing a fluid wisdom of universal rhythm. This living dynamic of spontaneously arising spheres and circles in our universe and in our hearts are alive within an all-encompassing oneness of being, just as a drop of water is one with all waters. And within this blended state is a concentric ring of influence moving out through space, interacting with all other spheres of influence. It shows us a fundamental aspect of existence in their wholeness and completeness of being by allowing an individual sphere of influence to become purely blended in this primordial intent. And like the circle, spiritual fruition, inherent to all life, is a blended state of being beyond limits and concepts of beginning or ending. Within this arising vision of life we can realize the qualities of water and light, Earth and space that arise from the intent of essence, an interactive vision, where the natural world comes alive as a fluid expression of primordial love.
The path is to return to the circular and spherical qualities that permeate the natural world, becoming a sphere of influence upon the radiant surface of life, blending back into the rhythm and pure form of our Mother’s intent. In this blended state lies the way to fruition. But even as you move along the path, the intent of essence is experienced as a living vibrant vision guiding you through life in a loving embrace. This primordial love is an intent that radiates out from the blue-black depth of pure potential, a pure intent of mother energy, the basis of creation.
God is the sphere, God is the Earth, God is the sky, God is the rain, God is the visions of radiance, God is all of nature throughout space. God is the expansive oneness of original heart. We are meant to be an integral part of this living beatitude, like the Earth, like the sky, like the rain, like the rainbow. The intent of essence is expressed as the openness of space, the fluidity of water, the responsiveness of Earth, the radiance of light, and the expanse of spherical wisdom in original heart. Let go of the tension the mind creates and blend back into the heart of this loving intent, to again walk through the threshold of nature, to simply be one with all things, just as they are. Become a sphere riding upon the sky of transcendent openness, a spiritual movement across space like a concentric ring of original heart within the expanse. Come back to original heart and reach a blended state of oneness within an intent that is alive, all pervasive, and all forgiving, truly the universal Mother.
The Tunnel and The Sky
Humans of the fall from grace have been lost within a narrow tunnel vision perception ever since they began separating themselves from nature and the fabric of being in their pursuit of power. Tunnel vision is long and reflective with only a small focused view of the world. Humans of the fall essentially create their own reality, taking advantage of the Earth that is allowing in nature; part of a primal grace that is a blended state of being. The tunnel is humanities separation and distinction from all other forms of life. This separation and narrowed focus gives humans a kind of ‘license to kill’; the ability to create clever ways to project their power and at the same time fascinate their minds to make themselves believe they are chosen and that their knowledge is an expanding universal understanding. All that we create, understand, and realize, no matter how clever or amazing, are just reflections off the shiny walls of our tunneled in perception.
The experience of our Earth as it naturally arises shows us the ways to live and grow spiritually. The sky, the living blue atmosphere of the Earth, is a primordial teacher arising naturally from the intent of essence, so simple and so very profound. To experience ‘sky’ is to be embraced within the sky of your heart. The blue atmosphere surrounds us in expansive clarity capturing the sun’s light and warmth offering a sphere of wisdom like a mother’s heartbeat. When you live with the sky, you can settle into the sky of your heart, living within a rhythm that is far beyond the restrictions and fantasies of the tunneled in perception of our world culture today. To do this we need to have an ongoing direct experience within our whole being; allowing the sky to blend with the sky of your heart. It is not enough to visit the ‘sky’, tasting it while remaining within the grip of the tunnel adding the sky as a concept to reflect off the tunnel walls. This is why it is so important to live with the teachings of the Earth, to come to a blended embrace that is not corrupted by concepts of mind. All structures of belief and faith fall away when one opens their hearts to blend with the heart of all, just as it is.
When Rachel and I moved to Stanley, New Mexico, we had an unlimited view to the horizon. We were constantly exposed to a transcendent openness day and night as its atmospheric fluidity of heart entered the atmosphere of our hearts. We realized that we needed to let go of all the cultural baggage we came with in order to be open to the knowing and the wisdom that just is; simple, unadorned, and open like the sky. As we lived on the prairie this expansive presence wore away our tunnel as we learned let go and blend. And slowly over the years we returned to origin’s embrace of original heart, the breath of all being.
People who live a blended existence in transcendent openness are not circumscribed by borders or defined structures but perceive in a allowing, blended knowing from their heart embraced by the fabric of being. Life is but a natural wholeness of a blended perception far removed from a narrow focus and the pursuit of power with the holding that inflames anger, greed, and jealousy. The problems of our world now would never have occurred had humans never strayed from the vast and fluid dance that is origin.
The Earth as it naturally arises teaches without a focused demand but with an ongoing direct experience, a call and response, a constant flow of a knowing teaching that is all encompassing. One needs to come out of the shiny tunnel and let go of the intellect as you open your heart and blend with the vastness of original heart where equanimity is a blended wholeness, a living, breathing oneness of being, a primordial source of a knowing all.
Living within an embrace of the natural flow of the Earth is crucial. We need to learn from our ancestors how to live and perceive within the flow of our Mother, for this is the default of human existence on the Earth, and it may very well be the only way to survive the cataclysmic events and changes that are to come.
The Visions of Radiance - Tögal
The visions of radiance are a message of joy laced into light itself that lives in the hearts of all beings. The path is fluid, feminine, open, and expansive, and is experienced by allowing the heart to be as open and expansive as the primal source is, blending with origin itself that has never ceased to be origin, a constantly arising primordial intent.
The visions of radiance are elemental to all of creation. They arise with the same basic imagery and in the same progression for anyone capable of letting go of all doctrine or culture to sustain a transcendent state of openness.
All creatures, all beings of the Earth can experience the visions of radiance. We are all one within a divine embrace; no being is excluded. The spheres form in relation to the being experiencing them. All creatures of the Earth are equal in importance and there is no hierarchies accept in the warped thinking of humans. A whale would see the holy one’s in relation to its own form. Oneness is the basis of radiance, nothing is special or unique, and nothing is higher or lower.
The light in one’s heart creates the tale of the universe when allowed to be and arise naturally. When we hold and grasp onto belief systems or doctrines, the visions become twisted to that perspective. Rachel and I allowed the visions of radiance to arise naturally having let go of all doctrine and belief, allowing original heart to blossom and stabilize.
During the years of Togal practice, we sketched only a fraction of what we experienced in any given session of gazing to share with one another. What was apparent from the beginning was the natural, organic quality in the shapes as well as the color.
When we were in the middle of the third vision or the effulgence, we stopped drawing because it became impossible to render these ongoing, evolving visions beyond normal parameters of space and time. Only when the lines of light from the holy ones and the effulgence began to decline, did Rachel and I begin drawing again. When you let go of all doctrine and culture, as one should when in the process of the visions of radiance, then the mandala of a holy one is experienced over the course of hours of practice. Their ‘size’ is beyond the concept of space, seeing the universe whose form is that of a holy one that is organic, alive, and fluid, not static, Euclidean or codified. This is also true of the color one experiences in the third and part of the Fourth visions. The visions of radiance are not defined or limited by five, but encompass the whole spectrum with a quality that is extraordinary.
The process of the visions of radiance and the whole spiritual journey is to let go of all concepts and doctrines and rest in original heart, blending naturally with the breath and flow of the universe. It is so important to practice letting go of habits of mind, the holding patterns of doctrine and belief systems and the tenacious ghosts of past lives. It is not enough to say it or think it or deny it, you have to let go within your very being until renunciation arises naturally. Then you can enter the visionary process less encumbered by the mind and its propensity for control and you will not grasp and force the visions to arise in a certain preconceived way.
The Blessings of Space
Space is a blessing that arises from the primordial intent, the all-pervasive grace that creates the universe. Space allows and nurtures the spheres of existence with a living, activating lucidity, a catalyst for movement within this vision of life and the arising motion of your life’s journey. This clarity of space allows the light to flow and reveal the openness of being, a blessing that arises from an inexhaustible primordial potential, a constant radiance of creation, a curving fluid interplay within a oneness of being.
Two red-tail hawks glide and hover at the edge of a field in a cold January wind. The birds are a union of two spheres of influence riding the interplaying tides of space, wind, and the expanse of open hearts. Tail feathers flashing red as they bank against a strong incoming gust of wind, their wings curved into the flow of wind to hover overhead in the blue sky and the white clouds. Fluid souls in a fluid world, the spheres of their influence moving and being moved by space that allows them freedom to fly in a living dimension of curving grace and the openness of pure being. These birds of space accept the wind with a purpose expressed by their wings, a blended action and a perceived message with an underlying intent.
In the visions of radiance, the stars have an equality of spirit represented by their curving diamond shape of the four directions and are as if drawn by extraordinarily delicate turquoise blue lines of luminous light. They exhibit a feminine fluid wisdom and ‘sing’ with curved bands of rainbow colors that flash and change as they move around the field, hovering about and then moving along or vanishing out of sight. Their movement is individual and responsive, with the feeling of joy and vibrant aliveness as an engagement within your heart. There is a quality of an angel or spirit of space dancing out a message like a kiss from the divine.
Space offers an ease of being, clear and allowing, an expanse for spheres of influence to come into being and respond to one another. The hawks, the stars, and the openness of your heart, all respond in a blended heart to heart relationship. The birds of space and the stars of radiance express and point out the blended openness of the heart, interacting and communicating within the spirit of intent. It is an interrelationship, your sphere of influence connecting with all other spheres in a seamless knowing. There is no separation, only a blended dance of hearts within the active lucidity of space. Through the grace of primordial intent, the birds of space and the stars of radiance, arise into a perceived field to dance about the expanse of your heart, moving you to let go, aligning your very being for an ultimate embrace.
When you resolve all phenomena in the fourth vision of radiance, you experience and live within the embrace, oneness at the heart of primordial purity and exhibit a wisdom so blended within nature it seems to spiral about, curve and sweep in the stream of primordial intent, in contrast to the linear, frozen ways of the mind. Spiral fluid wisdom is very much related to the qualities the stars of radiance and the flight of the birds of space for it is blended within the expanse of space, a oneness of being. The primordial grace of space is feminine, curving, open and allowing with a delight and joy like a girl dancing upon the sky in the morning light of spring bringing the world into being; the intensity of becoming within the dance of creation.
